-It was my second degree. I already had a degree that I wasn’t really “using”. I didn’t want to pay out of pocket and/or get loans for a degree that I might not use.
-I didn’t love it. I had nightmares, yes nightmares, about clinicals. I was terrified of hurting someone. Even practicing simple skills was anxiety provoking for me.
-I did not like being responsible for other people’s health. I know I would be a part of a medical team, but I would feel responsible when someone inevitably goes downhill. I heard a story of a nurse who tried to be nice to patient and not restrain him, but he fell out of bed and eventually died. That would have been career ending for me. I would not have been able to take that responsibility.
-I am afraid that I would stop feeling responsible. I watched nurses and aides nonchalantly sashay through the halls gossiping while the patients suffer. They just don’t care anymore. It is how they cope with the constant suffering of others.
-Politics really piss me off. In order to be a nurse you have to constantly walk the fine line of political savviness. Constant patience is needed , as well as respect for doctors who look down on nurses. Nurses must deal with sick, unhappy, disrespectful patients. And worse, there is often nurse on nurse aggression. Diplomatic acrobatics must be done to avoid running into trouble when dealing with others.
-I hate working with my hands. I have no idea why because I consider myself a crafty person. Perhaps it’s the amount of structure and strategy required to be successful at nursing.
-In short, I quit because of fear and discomfort. Are these negative feelings a sign that I was in the wrong field of studies or was it just me not willing to overcome adversity. I don’t know.
❤ A ❤